Friday, March 29, 2013

Why Does a Sexuality Educator Need to Write About Children?


Well, of course, the answer is we don’t have to do anything. But it is important to me, as a sexuality educator, to write about children for this reason: if I don’t care about children, you should not trust me as a sexuality educator.

I have many children in my life. I have a large family of origin and more nieces and nephews than I can count. I also have a number of friends with children.

I love the children in my life and give to them as much as I would love and give to my own children. I have never felt any need or desire to be a parent because I believe that all the children in this world are my children and I have responsibility for all of them.

As a sexuality educator, I have been sensitive to the taboo of talking about sexuality and children. Childhood sexuality is not the main focus of my work. However, I often call my work “sexual healing education” rather than “sexuality education” because I do my work from the vantage point of knowing many of us need to heal our sexualities because of our childhood experiences. I also want to prevent more harm being done to anyone in the world, particularly children.

Preventing harm also includes letting children discover their bodies naturally. When we teach children about limits or boundaries, we should do it in a way that when they become adults, they don’t have difficulty claiming their natural-born right to pleasure. It means understanding that not all touch is sexual, so we can all get the nurturing touch we need. And children in particular can get the love, touch and attention they deserve.

If I didn’t keep the best interest of children in mind, you should not trust me as a sexuality educator. Teaching adults about sexuality can be interesting, but that is not where my primary interest lies. It is in understanding how to have the healthiest relationships and friendships in our lives and how to develop a sexuality that is not stifled or repressed by cultures uncomfortable with touch, sexuality, feelings and all else that matters.

I believe in paying attention to what happens to children as well as adults. That is why I do what I do, and you should only trust me as a sexuality educator if you know that I will care for the children.


Copyright 2013 by Susan Miranda.  All rights reserved.  No part of this writing may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright holder. For reprint permission, email miranda_susan@yahoo.com.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

I stepped on a sharp rake, and they came to see how I was doing. But when I fell on my clitoris as a very young child, no one came to comfort me.



I grew up on a farm. It is a wonder that as a child I didn’t have even more falls and injuries than I experienced. But the injury I remember today is falling on my clitoris.

Several of my twelve siblings and I were playing on a road grader. There is nothing cushiony or soft about a road grader. There is no place to sit. There are sharp points all over it, in addition to the sharp blades used to make the rough gravel roads smooth.

I was walking from the back of the grader to the front when I fell on my clitoris. It felt like falling on a knife. I got off and ran to the house screaming. My next memory is lying on a reclining chair. I heard whispering. One of my sisters who had been out on the road grader and probably saw what happened was whispering to another sibling.

I stopped crying long enough to let it sink in that it probably had something to do with what part of my body was injured. But no one came to see if I was okay.

Is it any wonder that as an adult, I have been publicly talking and writing about healing the entire body, including the genital area?

 
Copyright 2013 by Susan Miranda.  All rights reserved.  No part of this writing may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright holder. For reprint permission, email miranda_susan@yahoo.com.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Treating Money the Way I Treat Sex


If I were to treat money the way I treat sex, here is what I would do.

I would hold on to it a little while and let it build, and I’d savor the moment with it. I would think of the freedom and choices it could give me if I got intentional and centered and intuitive with it.

I would hold it for awhile but not hold it too tight. I would be conscious of the ebb and flow, the expansion and contraction, the in and out of all things—including money.

I would be giving it and receiving it and be conscious of the relationships I am building with it.

I would honor the relationships that grow with the sharing of it and not have any more rules for how and when I share it than I do for how to have healthy, abundant friendships and relationships in my life.

If I were to treat money the way I treat sex, I would honor it and keep it safe and respect it. I would honor the power of it and the generosity of it. I would know that I could share it and give it away and there will always be more. I would honor my yes and no and maybe with it.

I would be as intentional with it as I am with all other parts of my life.

It would be a part of me but not the most important part of me. I would use it as a tool to create a life on this earth that fits with my values and helps me be creative and do what I am meant to do on this earth.

I would enjoy it by buying things and experiences that are pleasurable.

I would let go of how it comes to me so that I can be creative in all parts of my life, because nothing is more important to me than living a creative life.

And I would fight for everyone to have abundance, just as I fight for everyone to get to have empowered sexuality in their life.


Copyright 2013 by Susan Miranda.  All rights reserved.  No part of this writing may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright holder. For reprint permission, email miranda_susan@yahoo.com.