An excerpt from a small booklet I wrote in 2006 called
“Here are my health care wishes
Please don’t make me hire a lawyer”
Excerpt: “What I hope for in my life is learning how to live fully – not an avoiding of death. What I yearn for most is speaking the words of human presence, need and love.”
My mother died on this day a long time ago. I do not remember the year.
What I do remember this sleepless night is that I was working a temporary job at the time. Coincidentally, my supervisor’s mother died on the same day my mother died, February 14, that same year.
It was not the right job for me although I really did appreciate this particular supervisor. I think his name was Tom? They wanted someone full time, and I declined, and when it was my time to move on, my supervisor was not there on the last day to tell me or to say goodbye. He left a note for me, and I never knew why he did not say goodbye.
Somewhere along the way I learned that I can’t control what someone else does.
I can only control what I do. I wrote him a note saying goodbye and letting him know that I would always remember that his mother died on the same day my mother died.
I’m pondering much as I reflect on over 57 years of life. I ponder how hard this past year has been for me personally and still is hard for so many.
I ponder on the fact that even if we get vaccines or follow medical referrals and procedures to prolong life and hopefully improve quality of life, we still are a day older and aging and dying are just as normal as being born.
I ponder on how what I regret the most in my 57 years on this earth are the times I did not do what I said I would do or did not do something as well as I could have especially when it comes to making the world a better place for all to be in and in all of my personal interactions.
This time I did what I wrote I would do. I remembered that my past supervisor’s mother died on the same day my mother died.
Copyright 2021 by Susan Miranda. All rights reserved. No part of this writing may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright holder. For reprint permission, email miranda_susan@yahoo.com.
