Somewhere I learned not to take
life for granted. As I write this, I
have been grieving for myself and for my friend the loss of her baby. Now I remember why I always say “I love you”
when I think of it. Life is short. So I embrace the concept “don’t wait for what
you don’t have to wait for.”
Yet some things I have waited for a
very long time. My mind in all of its
imagination, spontaneity and playfulness knows my fantasies of making love to
someone and being made love to. My heart
knows the longing and desires to have that happen in my life. And yet I wait, not willing to compromise and
experience sexual intimacy with someone unless I deeply care about that person.
While I wait, reluctantly, to experience
the passionate physical and sexual intimacy my mind can only imagine at this
time, I have learned what is probably even more important. I’ve learned that while waiting, something
else is happening, and that is life.
I’ve learned to embrace this very moment in time and who and what I have
in my life, and I have learned to embrace the only person who is with me all
the time and that is myself.
For me, waiting is not easy. So I embrace the concept “don’t wait for what
you don’t have to wait for.” Don’t wait
for the playfulness and love that can happen in so many friendships of all
different kinds. Don’t wait to enjoy the
sensuality and flirtations that can exist in brief moments of knowing many
people. Don’t wait for the sexual
pleasure that we can give to ourselves that is not like being with another
person but that is sexual pleasure no less.
Don’t wait to know the complexity of love and that life is not so simple
as either/or. I’ve had friends who were
lovers and lovers who seemed more like friends.
Don’t wait to be present in this
moment. Don’t wait to take the risk to
say “I love you” or “I like you” or anything else that could shift or end
because of a death, life transition or change in one person’s feelings. And don’t wait to know the pleasure we can
give ourselves this very moment in time.
Reprinted from:
Copyright 2001 by
Susan Miranda. All
rights reserved. No part of this writing may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,
without permission in writing from the copyright holder. For reprint
permission, email miranda_susan@yahoo.com.
