I am told this is one reason people give for why they cannot lose
weight. I use the word “love” frequently, and I mean it every single time I say
it or write it—except this time. I don’t think we can love anything too much. If
we do, then I don’t think we are using the word correctly or loving in the way
loving is meant to be done.
I am a sexuality educator and consultant. For the past twenty
years, I have talked about the importance of self-pleasure, self-love and our relationship
with ourselves. I consider eating one form of pleasure that is neither less nor
more important than other forms of pleasure.
I have challenged the cultural norms as best I can about just
about everything. Much of my work has been trying to increase awareness and
acceptance of gay, lesbian and bi sexualities. I advocate for all sexual
expressions and activities as being acceptable as long as they are consensual.
So I have no hesitation to also challenge assumptions that we need
to be of a certain weight, body type, skin color or age or to be able bodied in
order to be considered healthy or beautiful.
While I don’t define health and beauty by pounds or outer
appearance, there is no doubt that we live in a physically unhealthy society
here in the United States. However, we also live in a mentally, emotionally,
sexually unhealthy society, and it is just as important to address these
aspects of our lives and health as it is to address physical health.
So I don’t underestimate the need for more exercise and healthy
choices around food and other parts of our lives. But I will advocate for
healthy choices that come from true empowerment within and not from pressure or
arbitrary standards of beauty from a partner, peers or society.
I believe the only way we change anything is to fully accept where
we are right now. We don’t get anywhere by beating ourselves up or not having
compassion for ourselves and other people, whether we are talking about making
good choices around sex, food or any other area of our lives.
So can we love food too much? To answer that question, we need to answer
these questions: Is our love for food unconsciously similar to what happens in some
unfulfilling relationships, or is it a love of the most authentic, meaningful
and healthy kind? When we eat, are we really experiencing the pleasure of the
food, or do we not even taste what we are eating? Are we intentional with our
food, or do we go for what is convenient? Do we rush, or do we take time preparing
and eating the food? Do we have regrets?
I believe it is important to be intentional in all parts of our
lives, including what we eat. But our bodies and our lives do not have to look one
way or like someone else’s.
First published on www.radianceadvisor.com June 27, 2013
Copyright 2013 by
Susan Miranda. All
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